The articles

So, after some consideration, I've decided to keep this page and the more personal Pooter page. This site is going to include the articles I've written for the George Street Co-op's newsletter as well as other stuff about Attachment Parenting. Here's the first one:

Why Attachment Parenting?

Fifteen years ago I was pregnant with my first daughter. I knew right away there were some things I wanted to do that were considered different. Breastfeeding was one; I heard my sister and mom talk about breastfeeding and there was never a doubt I’d do it too. I wanted to use cloth diapers. That raised a few eyebrows. I made my own baby food, again with the help of my sister. I found a great “new” product, called a baby sling and “wore” my baby instead of using a stroller. Curled up in the fetal position, sound asleep, my daughter went with me everywhere, tucked at my side while few people even realized I had a baby with me. When they did, the response was overwhelmingly positive and yet, I never did see any other moms or dads wearing their babies.

This past year when I got pregnant again I wanted to do all those things and more. In the ensuing years my awareness of environmental and health issues had grown. As I started to search online about various subjects: vaccine safety, organic foods, home birth, co-sleeping, I found out that there was a name for this type of parenting-Attachment Parenting. Also called Natural Parenting or Instinctive Parenting, Wikipedia has a definition I can’t improve upon, so I’ve included it:

“Attachment parenting describes a parenting approach rooted in attachment theory. The infant has a tendency to seek closeness to another person and feel secure when that person is present. In comparison, Sigmund Freud proposed that attachment was a consequence of the need to satisfy various drives. In attachment theory, children attach to their parents because they are social beings, not just because they need other people to satisfy drives. Attachment is part of normal child development.”


The phrase Attachment Parenting was coined by Dr. William Sears, a pediatrician. He felt that if children were raised with strong, emotional bonds to their parents, they would development into secure, empathetic adults. Although meant to be a loose style of parenting, Dr. Sears’ website includes the 7 Baby B’s:

1. Birth bonding
2. Breastfeeding
3. Baby wearing
4. Bedding close to baby
5. Belief in the language value of your baby’s cry
6. Beware of baby trainers
7. Balance

Many AP parents also make other alternative health choices, such as naturopathy, anti-circumcision, anti-vaccination, homeschooling, cooperative movements and organic foods. There’s no dogma, though, no rules to follow. Just the desire to develop a close, loving relationship with your kids.

Critics say that Attachment Parenting is too hard for many parents to do, that it’s too time consuming and impractical. Indeed, many parents in the United States go back to work six weeks after the birth of their child, often because they need the double income and/or health benefits. My friend from the Czech Republic says that her country of origin, mothers are guaranteed three years off. Even our neighbor to the North, Canada, gives parents three months off with almost full pay and another nine at reduced pay. Don’t even get me started on Universal Health Care. Here in the USA, a mom gets six weeks of disability after a vaginal birth and eight weeks after a caesarian. Guaranteed by federal and New Jersey law, a woman can get up to another 12 weeks, without pay, of family leave. The guarantee means they won’t fire you and you keep you health benefits for that time period. The law, however, heavily favors the employer and not the parents. Without a second paycheck, many working class families can’t even take advantage of this benefit. Some parents find ways to work out of the home, cut back expenses radically and make use of a large support network. Currently, my husband and I each work part time. It’s a struggle to make ends meet, but we feel it’s worth it. Our baby is always with a parent and in her own home.

Other critics say that it leads to spoiling a child. I could write for a week on that, but suffice it to say studies have been done showing that babies whose needs are consistently met cry less over time. You can’t spoil a baby! From my own experience, I can see the difference in my own baby. When we first brought her home from the hospital, her cries went from zero to piercing in seconds. Now that she knows someone is going to respond to her, she gives little, “warning” yells. She doesn’t start screaming unless one of can’t get to her for more than a few minutes. She is learning to trust, which is the real job of babyhood.